Down Under Gets its Come Uppance

'The poor, pathetic French, Italians, Spanish, Chinese would be nowhere if Aussie chefs weren't re-inventing their cuisine; or so goes the standard wisdom of the prolific Sydney food press.' Ian Parr and Sue Holland of Baltimore's Custom House restaurant spent five weeks in their home town of Sydney over the Winter. Here is their report.

It would be a lot easier to be nice about the Sydney restaurant scene if the major players were not so convinced that they know it all, and that the place is the culinary centre of the universe. You're in trouble when you start to believe your own propaganda, and we saw plenty of evidence of trouble.

Twenty-five years ago, inbound tourism in Australia was a sleepy industry, catering mostly for 'VFRs' (visiting friends and relations), a carry-over from the huge European migration of the 40s and 50s. Those tourists didn't need anywhere to stay, or to eat. But now the profile of the tourist is more conventional and the numbers have multiplied tenfold; and most of these tourists spend some time in Sydney, and most of those spend some time in the Opera-to-Bondi Beach strip. The corrupting effect of this explosion of demand is evident everywhere in high prices and mediocre presentations. The 20 kilometre strip from the Opera/Harbour Bridge area, through Kings Cross, Darlinghurst, Oxford Street Paddington, Bondi Junction to Bondi Beach is almost wall-to-wall cafés and restaurants. Most of these places are tourist traps. Beware!

But there is some good news. Sydney is a vast, multi-cultural mosaic and from a culinary perspective this mosaic has been laid onto the terra nullus wall of an Anglo/Irish penal colony. Not having to conform to any established standards, these ethnic cuisines are authentic, native versions. The cost varies from astonishingly low to standard mid-range. We'll start with some cheapies:

Old Thanh Houng Vietnamese (Marrickville, Inner City). 'Old', to distinguish it from the other Thanh Houng, two doors down the street - no doubt started by an estranged relative who once worked in the Old Thanh Houng. You bring your own wine (and open it too - Corkscrew provided). Laminex tables, duralex glasses. Salt & pepper squid, mungbean flour pancake with crab & prawn. First class food, and the bill for five unstinting adults! AUS$87 - about €50!
358 Illawarra Road, Marrickville, 2004. Tel: 9558-0657 Open 10am-9pm closed Tuesdays.

Nina's Ploy Thai Thai. North Bondi. Fifteen years ago this was our local, only five minutes from our front door. At the time we were both teaching English to migrant children under the 'New Arrivals Program'. There were relatively few Thai students, who were dispersed around Sydney rather than in pockets, and their parents were invariably in the restaurant game. One Sunday morning we called into Ploy Thai to make a booking for that evening and discovered all our students and their parents, from all over Sydney, having brunch. The Thai restaurant where the Thai restaurateurs eat. Laminex, duralex, very cheap. Fresh exotic salads, Tom Yum Koong Soup. Very, very good. BYO.
132 Wairoa Avenue, Bondi Beach 2026. Tel: 9365-118. Open noon-10pm every day.

Upmarket, try Billy Kwong's in the inner-city area of Surry Hills. Kylie Kwong, the chef, is a Chinese-Australian. She cooks classic Chinese dishes, but the ambiance is more French bistrot than the vast and somewhat daunting upper-level Chinese restaurants, of which Sydney has quite a number. With the big Chinese restaurants you jump in the deep end: hundreds of customers (mostly Chinese); hundreds of choices (most unrecognisable for a European); staff who speak little or no English. Billy Kwong's eases you into Chinese with a relatively short and classic menu. Steamed scallops in shell, ginger and shallots; crispy skin duck, plum sauce, et alia. Aus$110 for three.
355 Crown Street, Surry Hills, 2010. Tel: 9332-3300. Open every evening. Go about 7.30pm or else be prepared to queue - always busy and no reservations.

Restaurant Balzac Opposite the old art deco Randwick Ritz Cinema, and just up from Coogee Beach. I (Sue) worked here for a few days to get an inside look at what is going on in Sydney. Starters & desserts AUS$12; mains AUS$24. Wine licence and BYO. Good French bistrot style, but the fish is barramundi rather than turbot or cod. Organic produce carefully sourced.
38-40 St Paul's Street, Randwick. Tel: 9399 9960

At the upper end, we passed, this time, on Tetsuya's $200 per head offering (excluding wine; BYO & licensed), although two years ago we ate at his old premises at pretty much those prices, and felt it was the only one of the top-liners that gave value for money, despite being the most expensive. His exhaustive 10-12 course dégustation menu, with its subtle blending of Japan and France, attracts foodies from all over the world. Despite having the most expensive restaurant in Australia he is booked out six weeks ahead.

Rather than being negative about a few others, we'll conclude. The beaches are calmer and less populated in the mornings. Bayswater Car Hire will rent you a corolla for about €15 a day, which is a quicker and cheaper alternative to Sydney's shambolic public transport. Bon voyage!
Bayswater Car Rental, 180 William Street, Kings Cross. Tel: (02) 9360 3622

Click here to buy 'Tetsuya' by Tetsuya Wakuda

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